Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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