I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize