i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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