You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
