Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
