Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
