So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
