I'd wear matching sweaters with you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
