no. you can't hotbox the world.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
