I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize