is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
