never play flip cup with pint glasses
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
