Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
