I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
