your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
