soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
