Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
