My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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