i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
