i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
