Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
