I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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