Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
