He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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