Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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