I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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