i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
