tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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