Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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