Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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