you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
