she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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