so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
