just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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