So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
