I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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