he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
