She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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