okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
