My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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