I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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