i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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