She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
