Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
