dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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