i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize