Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
