Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
