I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just cropdusted the office
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
