dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize