Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
