He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
