If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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