Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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