Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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