I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
