and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
