Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
