Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
